Given the Circumstances by Brad Vance

Author:Brad Vance
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2013-10-31T04:00:00+00:00

In the next room, Brian wasn’t able to sleep, either. The DMAA still had him buzzing, despite the champagne and the turkey and all the carbs. But that wasn’t all, was it? The look on Roger’s face outside his bedroom, the…

Say it.

Longing.

Brian took the extra pillow, rolled on his side, hugged it tight. God, he’d fucked a lot of girls. And slept with a few, but more out of exhaustion and an inability in either or both of them to get up and go. But there was never any…warmth.

You can go a long time, a very long time, without love. The mind adapts. The body accepts. You get a dog, or a cat. But. If love ever shows up, or even the promise of it, you’re fucked. You haven’t really accepted the lack of it. You’ve stored the lack, like a black hole, and the possibility of it being filled…sucks you in with its gravity. That’s why they call it falling in love. It’s scary, it’s a long way down, the fall could kill you.

Am I gay? If I want to hold Roger? Just…hold him?

But that wouldn’t be fair, would it? Roger would want more, Brian’s big man body would set him off, and then what? What do you do, back off and say “No Homo”?

He tossed and turned, wrestling with the pillow, with himself, until finally exhaustion took him around midnight.

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